That I’m posting this as a quickie probably points to the amount of time I’m spending with Magento 2’s internals vs. building out client sites, but I still haven’t internalized that Magento moved the the Design configuration options from
Stores -> Configuration -> Design
Content -> Design -> Configuration Content -> Design -> Themes Content -> Design -> Schedule
in the Magento 2.1.x branch. Probably an overdue change, but 8 years of muscle memory is a hard thing to change.